Let’s Talk: Support for Adults Reading Book 1
When you sit down with your child to read Book 1 in the Hole in the Fence series, you’re not just sharing a story — you’re opening the door to conversations that help them grow into wiser, kinder digital citizens.
This first book introduces us to the garden characters, each with their quirks and challenges, and sets the stage for bigger lessons about trust, secrets, and what it really means to be a good friend.
But sometimes those questions at the end; “What is a secret?” or “Who would be a good friend?” can feel hard to answer. Here’s how to get the most out of the discussion section and connect the story to your child’s digital world.
Each question includes a “Digital link” — this is to help you connect the story’s themes to situations your child may face online in the future. Even if they’re not using the internet yet, these conversations plant the seeds now so they’re ready when the time comes. It’s also fine if your child doesn’t make the digital connection straight away, the important part is introducing the ideas early, so when they do step into the online world, they already have the language and confidence to handle it.
1. Which characters did you like most in the story?
Encourage your child to share feelings freely — there are no wrong answers.
Notice if they’re drawn to kind, funny, or adventurous characters.
Follow up: “What do you like about them? How do they make others feel?”
Digital link: Online, we often “like” or “follow” people. Talk about why we choose the ones we do.
2. Who would be a good friend? Why?
Help your child name qualities like kindness, honesty, or sticking up for others.
Draw attention to Beetroot waiting for Onion — loyalty is a mark of friendship.
Follow up: “What do you look for in a good friend? What makes you a good friend?”
Digital link: Online, friends aren’t always real friends. Ask: “How can you tell if someone you meet online is really a good friend?”
3. Who wouldn’t be a good friend? Why?
Characters like Cucumber (bossy), Tomato (selfish), or Radish (competitive) show how some traits can hurt others.
This is a safe way for children to name behaviours they dislike.
Follow up: “What could those characters do differently to be better friends?”
Digital link: Compare this to people online who may be unkind or pushy. Ask: “What should you do if someone online makes you feel bad?”
4. How do we choose friends?
Explore qualities beyond fun: trustworthiness, kindness, respect.
Share your own story: “I like friends who listen to me and make me laugh.”
Encourage your child to think about how they make choices at school.
Digital link: Link to friend requests and followers. Ask: “Should we accept everyone as a friend online? Why or why not?”
5. What is a secret?
Clarify the difference: fun secrets (birthday surprises) vs. unsafe secrets (someone telling you not to tell your parents).
Reinforce: If a secret makes you worried, sad, or uncomfortable — it must be shared with a trusted adult.
Digital link: Connect to online “secrets” like passwords or private chats. Say: “Passwords are private, but you should always share them with me so I can help keep you safe.”
6. Is it okay for children to keep secrets from grown-ups?
Guide them gently: fun secrets (like hiding a present) are fine, but unsafe secrets should never be kept from parents.
Emphasise that adults will always help keep them safe.
Digital link: Ask: “What if someone online asked you to keep a secret from me — what would you do?”
7. What would be a perfect day for you?
This question helps your child express their wishes and values.
Listen closely: it tells you what makes them feel secure and happy.
Share your own perfect day too.
Digital link: If their perfect day involves screens, talk about balance: “What else makes a day feel really special?”
8. What makes you feel unhappy?
Encourage honesty — reassure them it’s okay to share hard feelings.
Use this to talk about resilience and healthy coping strategies.
Digital link: Ask: “Have you ever seen something online that made you feel left out or sad? What could you do when that happens?”
9. What things do you do that make you happy?
Reinforce positive habits like playing, reading, or being with friends.
Suggest writing a “happy list” they can turn to when they feel down.
Digital link: Balance screen-based activities with offline ones: “Do you feel happier after time on a screen or doing something else?”
10. If you had a magic mirror is there anything you would want to change about yourself?
This is a sensitive question. Children may reveal insecurities.
Emphasise that everyone is unique and valuable just as they are.
Reassure: “I love you exactly the way you are.”
Digital link: Link this to social media filters and “perfect” images online. Ask: “Do you think the pictures people post are always real?”